I added another Showme. I have another one from Jon I still have to come up with what to show you. I'm workin on it though I may need to enlist some help from someone.
Got my x-box hooked up. Mainly for playing music. I'm sure I will load a game or two up eventualy but I wanted to listen to some music and I didn't feel like getting the CDs out of their cases so I hooked up the Xbox. Which lets me play any CD and Track right now. While it took longer to hook the box up than it would have to put in A CD and go to some track I can see it all right on the screen and have it on demand from the xbox which rules.
An off day at work. I was having a hard time with customers today. Not sure what the deal was, but I'm pretty sure it was my fault. I'm glad that it's weekend and it's a 3 day weekend for me at that.
This weekend should be good. Last weekend was pretty good.
Tomorrow I'm gonna meet Tiffany and see about refinancing my car and to get her off my car loan.
I'm at home for once. Though it's not much of a home anymore. But I'm not upset or bothered by it. It's just new and strange for now. Change is good. Sometimes hard to embrace but harder to initiate.
I packed some of my superlow roation clothes away. Most of my stuff will be fairly easy to just stuff in a box or 2 and transport to new location once new location has been secured.
I also ordered new Tags for my Car.
I should spend some time sorting, organizing, discarding, finding, returning, seaching, packing, storing some of my stuff.
The place I live resembles less and less a home each time I get there. As each time I get there something has been disapeared entirely from the place or moved to staging to be grabbed/sorted/picked at later. Recently the bathroom was cleared out so now all that is in there is a shower curtain and a my toothbrush.
Eachtime I get home I realize exactly how little furniture I actually do own. I could fit nearly all of what I own into one large pickup bed. Not that it would be a good idea but I'm nearly certain it could be done.
Took advantage of the nice weather yesterday and went for a long hike at Shotgun Creek. I'm a little tiny bit sore from the journey up and around the park. Slept pretty good. But I still am nearly fall asleep at work
I'm am going to have to push my self to grow. Plain and simple. I'm not often a highly modivated mover and shaker. It is part of the ended up where I was.
book: I'm taking recommendations on books. I'm thinking I'd like non-fiction right now, facts, truth, reality.
Learn new things and confront a fear will be going hand and hand most likely. I can't say much else about it as I can hardly belive I'm going to do it.
Physical: I used to walk many miles perday when I lived in Salem. I used to play Ultimate Frisbee in Salem durring the summer. I used to go on hikes, and trips with Chris for the day just because we could. All of these things have essentially stopped since moving to Eugene.
I guess my sister told my Dad. All I told my sister was that Tiffany and I wern't together. I didn't have to say much about it to my Dad, he understood. About all I said was that I did it. He knew why and was proud I had the guts and gumption to do it cause he knew it wasn't easy as he has been there before and witnessed people just let things carry on longer than they should have.
My friends new and old are still amazing me and reaching out to me. I'm very lucky to have the friends and Family that I have and am greatful for them everyday.
Tiffany tooksome of her big stuff today. The entertainment center and her bed and some of her other stuff as well. I really don't have much stuff. I think I like not having much stuff but I'm gonna need more.
I'm not looking foward to moving what little I have when I find a place to call my own. I am contemplating keepin this place to my self, but doubt I will. It's a good place but I should find a cheaper place.
I want/need to learn new things. What I'm not sure yet. Something completely new for me. Something most wouldn't expect. Perhaps something I'm currently not comfortable with. Force myself to learn something about myself and grow.
Maybe it is the Solo trip to Salem later today. Or the prospect of having to explain to my family what's going on. Or a culmination of the whole week, the event, sleeping on the floor not in the bed I slept for over a year, the new morning routine. Change is hard. But change is good. The whole thing has been bittersweet.
I spent more than 4 hours waiting for calls yesterday and just over 1 hour talking. I got sent home a while 5 min early because of it. That ruled.
There was a thunderstorm yesterday. It was far far off but I managed to see a couple bolts of lightning. It was among the best things of the week, month, year.
I've been doing an alright job keeping my self busy. Which helps a lot.
I've gotten 2 mix CDs from Bonnie and Anne I have one for each of them I just have to go to the post office and send them off. I do have them in my pocket so hopefuly, maybe, I will think to do it after work as the post office isn't too far from here.
Tomorrow I'm off to Salem for my Dad's birthday. I think he's 50. Damn that sounds old. But I remember when 12 sounded old when I was 6. I remeber thinking 17 sounded old when I was 12 and 21 sounding old when I was 17 and here I am at 23 thinking 26 and older is old. Imagine by the time i get to 26 and older I will feel 30 is old. Weird how that works out everything being relative in one way or another.
I'm very lucky to have the friends I do. I may not have a whole lot of them but the ones I do have I love dearly. They have supported beyond all expectation and wishes. Even some people I don't know very well are offering support and that helps too. Thank you to all my friends!
I got some new shoes last night as my other/old pair are only technicaly shoes at this point. Not a while lot of tread left and falling appart at the seems if they were tires they wouldn't pass any tests.
Got home yesterday and Tiffany and I worked out some of the details as far as whats gonna happen with many of the material goods around here. I will most likely buy a couple things from her and depending on where I find to live perhaps take the Murray cat.
She also seems to have come to terms with it and realized what I and why I am doing what I am.
Today was much better.
I did it. I did what I thought was unthinkable. Last night I broke up with Tiffany.
I didn't enjoy it. I didn't sleep for crap. I pray it's the right thing to do. It isn't I don't care it isn't I don't love her. It is that I feel I need grow personaly. Get out on my own. I feel/felt too dependn't and unsure of things to stay. I also didn't see things progressing and hadn't felt things progress in a while. I didn't see marriage. I don't think she understands.
This is very difficult for me to do. I do it because I do care. Because I didn't want them to drag along as they were and perhaps have an even larger rift grow between us because of me. I have no regrets about our 2+ year run I am thankful for every last second of it.
I have alienated my self from one of the few who truely cares about me and that I truely care about.
To her it doesn't matter. To her its just the end and she doesn't like that. For that I am sorry and I can't say I like it but I think/feel it is nessary.
Had some serious rain and hail today out of what seemed to be no where.
Went to Tiffany's parents place for foods. I left early. Super tired for some reason. I think I've been sleeping ok. I just hope I'm not coming down with something.
Nathan called and while I was gone and wanted to play video games. But I was gone so that didn't work out. But maybe sometime this week after work I will go play video games over there. Maybe take my xbox over there and add a few to it.
I need more weekend. This one was too short. oh well.
Weather isn't too good. So no hike. Tiffany is going to be going to a play at her Alma Matter. So that leaves me alone until what will probably late tonight.
I'm thinkin about goin to bed early cause I got nothin' todo and I've been tired all damn day. Afterall I'm gonna need vast ammounts of beauty rest for pictures with my sister tomorrow. But I will most likely just play x-box for the evening as its at least somewhat entertaining.
Today at work I spent more time waiting for calls that I did on calls...
I'm glad the week is over. Even if the weekend doesnt look like it will be much fun I'm gonna try to have some.
I do have to make a Mix CD for Bonnie as she agreed to send me one 1st as an exchange. Anyone else interested in sending Ben new music? I will send you new music too.
I've got a showme submission to figure out too. It's gonna be a hard one. But I think I can manage.
Nothing exciting today. The weater was nice after work for a change. Didn't do much with it. Perhaps if it is nice again tommorow after work I'll do do something outside like assuming I can find something.
Ready for weekend even though it may not be to my tastes. Having to have pictures taken with my sister and all.
Paid tomorrow thats good.
Hungry. Gonna eat something now.
The week is now over halfway done. It's all down hill from here.
Insurance stuff got worked out. Somehow an old policy got picked up but they fixed it. So I guess my teeth aren't going to fall out after all.
I'm attempting to make a fresh set of CDs for my car. I've grown tired of whats in my changer. If anyone wants to send me MIX CDs or MP3 CDs please comment and I will get back to you. Perhaps we can work out some sort of exchange or deal?
Paid on friday... Pictures Saturday with tardbaby, er Emily (my sister). Sunday I think something else. Then next weekend is Salem for Dad's Bday, Then it's portland for Moby.
Today was going ok til the end. then it started to drag out and suck. Then I was off work and all was well again.
There was some thunder and a lotta hail today too. I didn't see much of any of it happen as my desk isn't exactly near a window. But I saw some hail on the ground after the event and even some in the grass after work.
Now I'm at home doing mostly nothing. Did a little admin type stuff for a website in the works and changed a password. I'm sure there is more I could be doing but I'm not.
And something is wrong with my insurance. So dental stuff is um, confused right now. So I get to try to sort that out tomorrow...
I've thought of another domain name to buy. chances are I won't do crap with it but own it for a while...
Today went by pretty quick for Monday.
I've gotten stuff in the mail about my dental situation. I think it's gonna end up costing me like a million dollars out of pocket. But thats cause I can't read the damn thing they are sending me. I need to call the dentist again and get it all sorted out. It may mean putting car stuff off for a while, which is disapointing/annoying oh well.
Will someone please give this cat a home. He isn't mine but doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a good home with someone who can prodive him with the care he needs. Makes me sad someone has to give him up.
My host company it's parent company and all sites hosted at my host company about 33,000 seem to have been unreachable for the last day or so. I blame this on the buying of the host company buy a larger company. But things appear to be better now. I want an explanation as to why but I doubt they will send it with out a request.
I wonder if all my emails since then bounced or if I got them all.
I thought about going for a run or something like at some point yesterday. Then didn't. I need something to run in. Warmups, sweatsuit, something I don't think pajamapants are gonna do it for me. Also it would provide cloths to workout in for when and if I ever decide to actually use the damn gym at work.
The Moby tickets arived today. I was almost starting to worry cause the other times I've gotten tickets online they showed up within 2 days it took a full 5 for these to show up.
Work was again slow today.
Filled my tank. I now have about $45-$50 to last me until the 15th.
I'm currently working of fixing nathans other bastard site. Ihatecancer.org. At some point it just stopped working. But it's better now...
Today was better than yesterday.
Tomorrow is Friday no plans for the weekend that I know of. No money left for plans. After Rent, Carpayment, Phone bill, food and concert tickets has left me kinda financialy drained. Hopefuly I will have enough for gas and food til next friday...
Work sucked like turbo charged hoover today. I think this is the 1st time I've gone home in this kind of funk from my current job. I used to go home in a funk pretty much everyday. So I guess its a good thing as long as it doesn't happen every day.
It's ok though cause I'm home. I can down my funk in music, xbox, computers, toys etc and reflect a little on the crapness of the day.
It's gonna be ok. I've got good support from my friends and supervisor at work.
So what do you when you've had a bad day or need to vent etc?
Nathan sat and listened to me do my thing for the morning part of work. Other than that nothing else to report.
I'm sleepy I still want my hour back.
The government came and took it. I think they are working with the men from Mars. To do horrible awful things to us all when they took it. I think it is some sick experiment done to the better part of a Nation (exculding Airzon and parts of Indiana apparently). I want my hour back you bastards. I spent all day kinda out of it and sleepyish because my hour was stolen from me.
Marked my calander for May 1 and made a request for PTO come may 2nd. Cause I'm goin' to Portland to see Moby at the Roseland. I saw him September 15th 2000 at the same venu. This time I will be in the balcony, with a chair and a beer rather than on the floor shoulder to shoulder with strangers. This will be an new concert experince for me that's for damn sure.
I've done pretty much nothing other than play x-box this weekend. Most of the day yesterday then all evening at Nathan's place with 9 other people. 5 on 5 Ghost Recon. Good stuff.
Beat Defjam Fight For NY Story portion. Still workin RalliSport Challenge 2.
Tomorrow is money which means back to work. Hopefuly things will remain slow as they have been the last few weeks.
The weather remains ick so not much fun to be had outdoors with my camera or Tiffany and her new monopod and lense for her camera.
This is my 1000ths post and I have upwards of 1500 comments....
The xbox media center rules! It can play shoutcast streams. It tells me the weather for places I'm not at and lets me play my music and videos over the network.
Everything else the box does rules too...
Mitch Hedberg died today at 37, speculation is heartfailure as he had a heart condition. Makes me sad. He was damn funny. I saw him live in Portland with Dave Atel and Lewis Black in 2003.